Tuesday, November 1, 2011
In the interest of keeping my goals, I am going to write a bit of what I am going to do to help myself get out. Obviously I am doing a bit better or I wouldn't even be writing this. So one thing is to keep writing on a regular basis. I will exercise every day but Sunday. If I can achieve this for the whole month of November I will buy a new camera. My sweet husband doesn't know this yet. But I needed a goal that I really wanted yet wouldn't just go out and get myself. And scriptures and prayer will be a number one priority.
I keep thinking of the little poster that says "If you want to do it you will find a way. If you don't want it you will find an excuse." While that may not be the uplifting type of saying to help with depression it does help me to remember how badly I want to function again.
I feel all wrong in my head. My emotions out of control and my decision making ability out of whack. By getting up in the morning, saying prayers and exercising I can begin the day with unequivocally good choices. That gives me momentum to get through the day. See, it worked today!
It feels weird to be so open in a blog post, I usually try to keep things at a distance, but this is the closest thing I have to a journal right now and so here I am, baring my pain to the world, or at least the small section of it that reads this. Be kind and patient. I should be better relatively quickly. These episodes end relatively quickly once I get to the end, it is the duration I am never sure of.
Time to de-stickify N. again. Halloween candy spreads an amazing distance when diluted with toddler spit.