Monday, June 18, 2012

center of attention

I have been wondering lately why this blog eats at me. I can go months without posting anything yet I compose posts nearly everyday. I always have ideas I want to share that die a lonely death in the back spaces of my mind. So why do I have this need (desire really, if it was a need I would really write more) to communicate and develop the thoughts in my head?
Sometimes I wonder if it is a form of "Look at ME!!" syndrome, just in a quiet way that more suits my personality. My oldest son has this in a dreadful way. In every situation he wants to be the center of attention. He interrupts conversations, takes over games and play, and is generally the loudest person in the room. Part of it is his Asperger's but a lot of it is a common human feeling. We all want to be the one everyone thinks about, is looking at, and loves.
It is the cause of reality TV, autobiographies, graffiti, and blogs, facebook and twitter. We all want our voices and our thoughts to be heard. But when everyone talks, who listens? It is like the line from The Incredibles, "If everyone is special, then no one is."
I would like to be able to better sort through the shouting, to hear the quiet whispers of the voices I want to hear because they have something of value to say. Something more than, "I''m important! Look at me!!Love me because I am on your TV and computer every time you turn it on."
The still small voice of the Holy Ghost only can be heard when we eschew (how's that for a good word?) the loud voices. The small and valuable voices that do exist in the world can only be found when we are thoughtful about the way we listen.
I just realized that the preceding paragraph could be taken as a reference to myself. Er, I am not sure I have anything valuable to say. I enjoy clarifying my thoughts in a public space, small though it may be. I wouldn't say read my blog because it has wisdom or value, more read it because I might say something you might like.
Who knows? It is getting late and I have a tendency to ramble and my great ideas dissolve into disjointed fragments.
Good night.

1 comment:

jendoop said...

Don't over analyze the push/prompting to write. It's like you're suspect of your intuition. Trust it. Write. See what happens. It could be as simple as writing practice, you'll push yourself to produce better work if there's an audience. It could be more, follow the white rabbit ;)