Saturday, February 23, 2013

Learning Curves

I often joke about rough patches in life being steep learning curve moments. There is the assumption in our church that all trials are there to teach you something. For the most part I think that is true. Right now is an interesting point of learning in my life, because nothing horrible is happening, yet I feel myself stretching in all sorts of ways.

I am having a lot of self-motivated growth. This is something I haven't had time for in 14 years or so. My youngest will be out of diapers soon. He will even start preschool in the fall and leave me with time alone for the first time since I got pregnant 15 years ago. I have always been pregnant or nursing when the last toddler was at home.  This impending freedom from "mommy jail" (as my sister-in-law calls it) has sparked a lot of thought.

I feel a lot of responsibility. What is the best use of this time. I shouldn't just waste it, right.  But then my internal contrary voice kicks in with, "just enjoy it for a bit." Which sounds reasonable, but I know myself.  I am very good at doing nothing.  If I got in the habit of being on Pinterest for hours it would be very hard to break that habit.

A list of all the possibilities would run something like this:

learn piano
go back to school
volunteer at the kids schools
keep the house much cleaner
join a gym
volunteer as a reading tutor
go for walks
write more

blah blah blah.  I am great at goal-making. The follow through is lacking.

With all these thoughts of the future I have been trying to focus more on the now. I have things I want to change about myself right now. I have always felt too weak to even attempt some of them, like weight loss. It seems like such a huge challenge. So I have the check mark system.

I have four goals that are important to me. They are posted next to the calendar.  Every day I look and see how many of them I accomplished the day before. Each check is worth a dollar.  I am trying to get enough to get a new nice kitchen shelf for my cookbooks. It seems to be working for now.

We'll see how it goes, I guess that is all you can do.

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